this is life before who you’re gonna be

There’s a Taylor Swift song that’s pretty popular right now.  Here’s the lyrics.


You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
Its the morning of your very first day
you say hi to your friends you ain’t seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody’s way
its your freshman year and you’re gonna be here
for the next four years in this town
hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
you know I haven’t seen you around, before

Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
you’re gonna believe them
and when you’re fifteen
feeling like there nothing to figure out
well count to ten, take it in
this is life before who you’re gonna be

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
and soon enough you’re best friends
laughing at the other girls who think they’re so cool
well be out of here as soon as we can
and then you’re on your very first date and hes got a car
and you’re feeling like flying
and you’re mamas waiting up and you think hes the one
and you’re dancing round your room when the night end
when the night ends

Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tell you they love you
you’re gonna believe them
when you’re fifteen and your first kiss
makes your head spin round but
in your life you’ll do greater than dating the boy on the football team
but I didn’t know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
but I realized some bigger dreams of mine

and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
who changed his mind and we both cried

Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
you’re gonna believe them
and when you’re fifteen, don’t forget to look before you fall
Ive found that time can heal most anything
and you just might find who you’re supposed to be
I didn’t know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

La la la la la .. la la la la la . La la la la la

You’re very first day
take a deep breath girl
take a deep breath as you walk through those doors.

It hasn’t been that long since I was 15 (less than 10 years, in fact).  I remember those awful, terrifying years before I grew into myself.  I had awful hair (bangs), nerdy round glasses, no style sense and was so awkward.  And while I was homeschooled, I was still heavily involved in a youth group throughout high school.   I still volunteer as an adult leader which is amazing.

I wish though, that girls in high school would take some of the lessons in this song to heart.  I wish I had a song like this to remind me that while it might be the most important thing EVER to have a boy like me, it really wasn’t.  And that I might think I know who I am, but hey, out of a long life, 15 years is barely a blink of an eye.  And that there are dreams that you have deep inside you that you are hiding because it seems much more important to be texting (well, IMing at that time) some boy.

There’s a girl in the youth group.  She’s a freshman, she reminds me a lot myself at that age but she is much cuter than I was.  In the scheme of adult leaders, I’m one of the younger ones and I know a lot of the kids outside of the group, so I’m almost more of a “big sister” than an “adult”.  I like this, cause sometimes the girls do confide in me, sometimes with really big things.  The other week, this girl was telling me about some stuff going on with a guy.  And it scared me cause if I had had a big sister at that age, I would have been saying the exact same things to her.

My advice to the girl?  Let it go.  Just be friends.  Don’t let it get to you.  He’s a boy who is just growing up and you’re a girl who is just growing up and things will change and maybe, if you are lucky and smart, you might have a chance with him in a few years.  He’s a good guy, from a good family, with a good faith, but don’t push it.  You have years ahead of you.

With me and my boy, I pushed it.  I invested too much of my heart and it destroyed our friendship.  Even now, years later, it’s awkward at times and we fall into old relationship patterns and it doesn’t work like that (even though we are both married and have clearly moved on from all that).  My sister, on the other hand, was just friends with guys.  She didn’t push anything, heck I never even knew about some of her crushes until years later.  What happened?  She married one guy who we met her freshman year at the youth group.

Time can heal things.  Christ can heal broken hearts.  But while it may be better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, I think it is best to wait on such things.  Bide your time.  Wait for true love to awaken within you.  Cause when you are 20 and not 15, you’ll see just how different you, the boy and love can be.


One thought on “this is life before who you’re gonna be

  1. hmmm, i wonder if i know this freshman your talking about and if i do and this is what you said to her then i must say thank you and keep it up! i just had a talk about this very subject on the car ride home this evening~ the Holy Spirit is at work! You are a blessing!

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